angelhill.net/life

I recently decided to update my biography, this lengthy essay written with much excitement and desire to present myself as openly as possible is the result.

Essay Last updated on 2005-01-14 02.28

Details Last upadted on 2006-06-02 10:24

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Who is this crazy old man and what is this crappy page about anyway?

• Nick: zeraien (aka Dimo, aka Tolian Worf)
• Current Location: Stockholm, Sweden
• Current Occupation: University Student
• Current Project: Study, Work, Study, Balance the two
• Current Appearance: Quite decent actually

Who is this crazy old man and what is this crappy page about anyway?

This blog is basicly my attempt at attracting attention to myself. There is really no need to hide it, I am an attention whore. Probably because I live all alone, don’t have a real job, don’t go to school and have trouble meeting new people. You would be surprised at how hard it is to meet new people while in this state.

I am Dmitri Fedortchenko, a 23 year old programmer living in Stockholm, Sweden. I do some programming and tech support jobs to make some cash, while trying to decide what I want to do with my life. Sometimes I regret starting to work fulltime right after school. I think I would have preferred to waste those years studying Japanese in University. Since that would mean that I would be done now and could start to study some real stuff. Something I plan on actually doing. However my imperfect grades bar me from actually going to a real university. That, and the fact that so far I have tried and failed to sit through the first 3 lectures of 4 different university educations.

Here in Sweden we are spoiled with free education, else I’d be pretty much bankrupt at this point.

So instead of studying to learn stuff, I learn it in about 1/3rd of the time at home by reading books and tutorials online, and then figuring out the rest on my own. I am bad at math, but my logic is so good that I can do something so logical that you cant even do it. Really!

Unfortunately I have a very strong tendency towards living in fantasy worlds. This was the only thing that got me through high school, since I spent those years playing Ultima Online, having online romances with 30 year old women and slaying peasants to seem more evil to people around me. Since my PC was stolen a while ago, I have only my Powerbook to keep me company, and since the world is evil, there are no good massively online games for Mac, meaning I am stuck in this reality for the most part.

However, have no fear, since there is an alternative solution. Anime. After I watched Trigun a few years ago (after being almost forced to watch it by a friend who decided a little while ago that I was too unpredictable to be around and stopped talking to me), I was hooked.

Nowadays I EAT Anime. Give me a series, and I will consume it’s normal 26 22 minute episodes in less then 2 days. This causes problems with my work sometimes, and obviously means I have even less time to go out an meet people.

Let me just drift into a side thought for a second, that whole go out and meet people thing is very interesting. Because I have never quite understood how it is that I am supposed to actually MEET said people. I mean, I certainly meet plenty of people when I am outside, but this hardly helps me to actually know those people or to get any one of them to live with me.

In any case, I eat Anime, and as any self-respecting Anime fan, I love Japan and am steadily learning the wonderful Japanese Language. I would like to say that my obsession with Japan goes beyond anime, and that I love their ancient culture, the language and the nature. Of course, we all know that’s just bullshit, especially since my visit to Japan seems to be getting constantly delayed by economic shortfalls. I guess I should have waited with those speakers and surround amplifier and used the money to stay for a week in Japan. Fuck me.

As you might have gathered from the above, I am a programmer. I love programming. I can talk for hours about how I created that Object which could actually takeDamage() and then suddenly attack() or just simply die(), only to later be deleteObject()ed in the while (is_alive) {}. Enough of that. I recently learned C++. Ok, learned might have been an overstatement, I am learning it since June of the year 2004 of our Lord. (I am not religious, I just thought it sounded cool)

I have also been a great fan of Star Wars ever since I saw The Empire Strikes back in 1992. Yes, I was a bit late about it, but I come from the CCCP, so dont blame me. I love the Empire, although I always seem to want to do good like the rebels. Such is the contradiction that is me.

Another thing that might be important, is that for the last 2 years of my high school education, I wore a Starfleet communicator badge on my slipover or whatever garment that I was wearing at the time on my upper body. I also wore an Ultima Online pin nearby. There were times when my communicator was of a working model, and people had great fun pushing it and calling yet unborn Scotty to beam them up. When the working model was replaced with a finely crafted replica, the masses slowly realised that their pushing did nothing, and I could laugh quietly in a dark corner.

I also own a Type II phaser, numbered #9053.
Anyway, that is enough about my obsessions.

My current duties include working on developing a game. Why a game you ask? Ahh, now that you mention it, I will tell you.
I have an enormous lust for storytelling. I love stories, and I love telling them. I am usually very quiet until someone gets me going. Then I talk until my throat is dry. Some might say it is a bad trait. In any case, since my drawing skills are rather subpar, and my writing usually ends up being a bit circular because I tend to forget what I wrote a few minutes ago and write it all over again, I figured that making games to tell my stories is the best I can do. So I am doing it and enjoying the process so much that I am posting my thoughts and ideas on my code blog. Do check it out if you are interested in programming, or just check it out anyway.

Since by now you know everything about me down to the size and color of my underwear, I will tell you more about my plans for the future.

Since I have been officially dubbed a slacker both by my entire family and some of my friends and most importantly, myself, I feel that I need a change in my life.

What this change should be, is not exactly known, but the ideal fantasy in my deranged mind is obviously some sort of fascinating self-discovery trip to the far east. Japan, China you name it. I have this rather weird fantasy that if I spend a few years living in a different place, where I am forced to actually do things to survive (right now I am rather well off with an apartment that costs little every month and a small, but somewhat steady flow of jobs), that that kind of harsh environment might actually make me lift my ass and do something.

I also have a crazy fantasy about learning martial arts from an old sensei or sifu, in some distant mountains in said far eastern countries.

Until such fantasies are brought to fruition, I am forced to spend my days alone in my cave, facing the dull glow of a 15.2″ widescreen display filled with antialiased fonts and lickable buttons of various colors.

This should bring this geeky introduction to a close, and below follows more evidence of the fact that salvation is impossible, including a picture of what this fool looked like a few months ago:

GeekCode
[decode]

-----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
Version: 3.12
GAT/CM/CS d-(+) s:- a-- C++(++++) ULB++ P+(++) L++ E W+++ N o K? w--
O---- M++ V- PS+(+++) PE Y+>++ PGP t++@ 5++ X R>+ !tv b+ DI@
D++ G++ e h r- y++
------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 14th, 2004 at 06:46 and is filed under Diary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.